AndyHoffner.com would like take this time to correct several errors which have been reported between January 1st and December 7th of 2009 at AndyHoffner.com and our various affiliates. We regret the mistakes and would like to reassure our readers that factual accuracy is an ongoing priority.
Due to a spelling error in a photo caption in Monday’s article, the word “apostles” was replaced with a “apostate”. The Daily Universe apologizes to the Quorum of the Twelve and our readers for the error.
SURREY Police have not blamed gipsies for an attack on their force helicopter, no staff in their operations rooms were threatened by gipsies and no gipsy site was being targeted for a raid as we reported on May 14. More accurate sources confirm that the attack was actually due largely to gnome insurgents. We apologise for the mistakes and are happy to set the record straight.
An article on May 25, 2007, ‘The Cult Guru Who Stole My Son’ made claims that William Van Gordon was a ‘brainwashed zombie’ and Edo Shonin brainwashed him and that the Buddhist retreat which they ran was a cult. We accept this is untrue; The zombie corpse of Van Gordon actually was attempting to wash and then eat Edo Shonin’s brain. We apologise to both men for the contrary impression given.
Saturday’s edition headline mistakenly ran as “Can Dec. anally match Ant?” The original headline was changed from “at last” to “finally” – but left half of the print edition did not receive the update. We apologize to our readers for the rectal trauma.
We would also like to provide our most sincere apologies for a photograph published alongside a story of the annual Kinsmen Santa Claus Parade. We regret that neither the photographer or the [Mod. NSFW] participant pictured were aware of the over-exposure. We would like to inform our readers that the penis in question has been redacted.
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